I have always questioned the advice about how girls shouldn’t text first because that looks desperate but i was always shamed into agreeing that girls shouldn’t start a conversation. I have struggled a lot and gone back and forth with myself about this particular issue and one day it hit me that its okay to want to go up to a person and say hi at a party or to send the other person a simple “hi” if you want to talk to them. There is certainly no harm in showing that you are confident enough about yourself and that you don’t mind taking charge. If you think someone is cute or if you simply think that person would make a good friend, you shouldn’t be afraid to say hi or even maybe compliment them on something. Now, this isn’t a green light to keep spamming them when they don’t respond and seen zone you and by seen zone i mean when the person opens your message and doesn’t respond. When a person wants to have a conversation with you and wants to get to know you better, the effort would be the same because you shouldn’t have to put 50 percent of effort at the beginning and the other person puts in just 10 percent of effort. Please keep in mind that you starting the conversation does not mean that this person does not have to put in any effort and that it gives them the power to belittle you. I see a lot of girls struggling with this and are so afraid to take a step because of what people may say but i think we live in a progressive world where we shouldn’t have to think so much to just send a text or even go up and say hi.
I have gone up to a man and complimented his leather jacket and i have sent a message saying hi to someone from my college on Facebook (because i thought he was cute) to which i was ashamed about but it simply helped me know the person better. I am now confident enough to say hi and also confident enough to handle rejection with grace. There is nothing more desperate than wanting to look pricey and belittling someone for mustering up the courage to say hi to someone and we are all guilty of it. I have dealt with a lot of women and men who think that the person is obsessed with them because they simply sent a message and maybe that is why we think about it so much. Are we letting the 300 likes we get on our Instagram to get to our heads? Are we forgetting to stay humble as we sing to Kendrick Lamar’s song ‘humble’?. I hope we learn to stay humble and also learn to gracefully reject someone if we aren’t interested, instead of talking about how desperate they are just because they said Hi.
If you are a girl and you are reading this, i hope you get the courage to send him or her the message you been contemplating on sending and you don’t have to start it with a “Hey do you want to be my baby daddy?” but something a little more subtle where you ask the person if they’d like to get to know you more!. life is too short to hope for the other person to realize that you exist. you lose nothing and this experience only allows you to grow.