Our Almost Lovers

Have you gone through a dating-hiatus or the ‘not taking men seriously’ phase? and you decide you want to come out of it because someone comes into your life and you think they are worth coming out the ‘not-taking-men’ seriously phase and you do, you come out the phase and you give this man a chance because you feel different about it and you swear to God it’s going to be different. You haven’t prayed in a while but that night after the first date, you pray because you remember your mom telling you that there is always someone up there listening and you want this someone who apparently has a lot of power to listen to you rant about the exciting date and you plead to him about how you don’t want him to be the ‘typical-blaring-Punjabi-music from his car’ Delhi boy and in exchange you promise God that you aren’t going to dive into this one and you aren’t going to be too excited about it. It’s funny how you end up doing silly things for a first date that went really well because you’ve just been surrounded by men who have nothing else to offer but their dicks and who constantly talk about their “baap’s paisa” (father’s money). You are hoping it works out so you refrain from telling your girlfriends about it, just so you don’t jinx it. How silly, you think to yourself but you cant help but be cautious. So you go on to your dates and its finally the 5th date so now you think, its the right time to tell your girlfriends and you do, hoping that you don’t have to text them saying “Sorry guys, that man is cancelled because we didn’t work out” the week later.

After a few months, you’ve already been to your 10th date and you think everything is okay but everything is not okay because you feel the distance and the lack of effort from the other end and it’s not the same. You swore to yourself that you’d take it slow and not take him too seriously and you hate yourself for overthinking. So you finally get the “I need some time and space” text and When you get this text, I am going to have to ask you to calmly take a screenshot and send it to your best friend, not because you have to trash talk but because you need a clearer and calmer person to analyse the situation and text. Your best friend knows you the best so you listen to her and stay calm. I know you’re going to want to type “I thought you were different” and you want to ask “Why’d you have to waste my time?” or even say ” fuck outta here with that bullshit” because you are confused and you thought you did everything right and also followed the steps but you calmly just say “Okay, I hope I am still here when you come around” and you do your thing. I know you are going to want to blame yourself for falling for this bullshit again and wasting your time and you’re going to think ‘why did I ever come out of that hiatus and start taking men seriously’ but you’re going to be okay and don’t be too hard on yourself because his issues and how he reacts to your action of communication isn’t your fault either. Maybe his “I need some space” is just an excuse because he might not have the balls to say “I dont want to do this anymore” as most men rather lose their right arm then tell the girl he is seeing that he doesnt want to see her anymore and he thinks he can slip away like that or maybe its not an excuse and he actually means it but what you need to do right now is not stress yourself with this, start investing time on yourself and stop waiting for this person to come around because at the end of the day, they might never show up and you dont want to be the one with the broken heart. So, you move on with your life and do things that make you happy and if he comes back, you can decide what you want to do with him then but right now, you need to stop waiting and contemplating on the “what ifs”. The worst thing you could do in this situation is to bombard his phone with text messages and calls because he did clearly say he wanted some space and not “HEY I WANT YOU TO BLOW MY PHONE UP UNTIL I GET THE REALISATION THAT I LOVE YOU”. You will be okay because i am doing perfectly fine too.